I Don't Want To Be Fat

I apologize in advance for the selfie… and the body hair.  I’m completely prepared for the jokes.  Is that a still from the new Planet of the Apes movie?   David Hasselhoff called, he wants his BayWatch chest hair back.  I am as mortified as you are.  I don’t do a lot of selfies, and never with my shirt off.  I had to take about 42 pictures to even come close to rummaging up the courage to post that picture.  I won’t be that jerk-off that selfie showcases every minimal physical improvement littered with obnoxious hashtags like,  #tricep, #backday, #gymrat (AKA #douchebag).  For any guys that spend a considerable time at the gym, social media has become the outlet for soft core pornographic playgirl selfies to nurture their narcissism.  Not to say any of my photos qualify for playgirl, maybe Animal Planet (Alright fuckers leave me alone).  I’ve come a long way.  I would do a before and after but there is no way I’m showing my fleshy, hairy, dunlap (over the belt) fat in open forum.  You won’t be calling me brave today.

So here’s the story.  Last year I got fat.  I wasn’t watching what I ate.  Actually, I watched all of it.  Such a weird saying.  It’s not like the food snuck into my mouth.  Got up to 262 lbs.   I’m sure there are emotional and physiological reasons for my physical decline;  but in a nutshell I became a great big fat ass.  I started wearing the same four T-shirts that I thought would hide the hideousness of my gruesome exterior.  It probably just appeared that I believed laundry was optional.  I washed the shirts…for the most part.  It didn’t really matter, because I stayed indoors as much as possible.  I was working about 80 hours a week anyway.  My main vice was nicotine and candy.  Cherry Sours, Taffy, skittles, E-cigs, chewing tobacco, and ice cream.  Maybe cookies.  Maybe Chocolate.  My sweet tooth vacuumed all sorts of sugar laced, narcotic like goodness into my pie hole.  I fucking love pie.

January 2014, I started working out kinda.  1-2 a week I’d half-heartedly check the exercise box to justify the disgusting amounts of food I would later stuff into my garbage disposal of a mouth.  In May, I found a MeetUp for pick up soccer and started playing.  I was 5’11’ and 262 lbs playing soccer.  Smart people know this isn’t a great idea.  I got away with playing without injury until Thursday, July 24th 2014.  This was the day I partially blew my ACL.  My doctor quickly pointed out what happens when people run overweight.  She even compared me to a contestant on the BIGGEST LOSER.  Which is exactly how I felt.  Like a loser.

So that was it.  Another lesson brought on by extreme pain.  I got one of those free training sessions at the gym and learned I was an Endomorph body frame.  There are two other types of body frames, but fuck you guys.  The other two have an easier time losing weight.  Knowing I was an Endomorph changed how I looked at my diet completely.  Basically, when I eat carbs it turns into insulin (sugar) and stores it as fat.  If I don’t eat carbs my body goes into a state of Ketosis and I lose weight.  So I eat meat (mostly chicken and fish), vegetables, selected fruits, and drink protein shakes.   I also take CLA and Fish Oil.  I try to eat around 50 grams of carbs a day (Rice, fruit, sweet potatoes).  I work out about 5 days a week.  I do high reps to keep my heart rate up because, I can’t do any cardio because of my stupid fucking ACL injury.   Since my injury, I’ve lost over 40 lbs. and my bench max is 325 lbs.  I’d like to shake another 20 lbs or so but it will be slow going with my body frame and lifting regiment.

I have always struggled with weight.  I have a great knowledge of fitness, but for whatever reason have fallen off from time to time.  My end goal is to find a realistic diet and workout lifestyle that I can stick with for more than a year.  Life can suck and food is a great escape.  Lifestyle tends to justify a lot of it.  Great meals can be great entertainment. 78 Million people in the US are obese.  About 32% of folks in Indiana are obese.  I hope my little story reaches someone.  Look up Endomorph, that shit sucks.  If you’re the other body types your regiment is different.  I really didn’t do anything special but change my diet and workout.  If you’re sick of being referred to as, “big guy”, or the “heavy set dude” or whatever seeker sensitive synonym is used to describe your outrageous physical state.  Get some help.  Don’t be fat anymore.  Easier said than done, but not impossible.          

#stevencooley
#triceps